Right off the bat, we discussed marriage, rings, honeymoons, and our life together. The next day I was shocked to hear that Stephen had also broken up with his girlfriend! A few weeks later, he surprised me by showing up in Miami and that's when we became a couple. I confessed that I felt a connection with a guy I'd met a few months prior and that it seemed unfair to continue our relationship. "A few months later I broke up with my boyfriend. Even though there was an attraction between us, we were both dating other people and had no interest in a long distance relationship. We got to know each other during that graduation weekend and spent more time together a week later when he and his brother drove from Raleigh, where Stephen was attending North Carolina State University, to Miami, where I was a student at Florida International University. He was handsome, funny, quirky, and elegant. Admittedly, a big part of that was because Stephen looked like Jason Bateman, my childhood crush. It really was-to borrow a cliché-love at first sight. "I'm an extrovert and gregarious by nature, but meeting him left me speechless. For a long time, the timing wasn't right-one or both of us was always dating someone else-but we finally met at their college graduation in 1992. His brother was dating one of my high school besties and they thought we'd be perfect for each other. I learned that sometimes, the most important things in life are worth a second try." Violette de Ayala Founder and CEO of FemCity (opens in new tab) Miami, FL I learned about the value of time and following my gut. I realized that no matter the mountain I'm facing, the climb is better with Ryan than without him. It's a feeling neither of us forgets and it helps get us through the inevitable challenges. The literal translation is 'I miss you,' but what it really means is, 'You are missing from me.' During our time apart, we both felt that at different times and in different ways. "There is a French saying, tu me manques. You don't just lose the person, you're also losing the life you shared. After five months, we reunited and dated until we got married in 2012. We had to be brave enough to nurture both. "We eventually realized we didn't need to choose between a relationship and satisfying our ambitions. I quickly realized there is grief involved in a loss like that it's sudden and pervasive. We didn't contact each other and saw our friends separately. "Rather than do the 'Let's be friends' thing, we decided to try a clean break. Do we break up and risk losing each other, or do we stay together and risk losing ourselves? We'd been taught to forge our own paths, take pride in our accomplishments, build a career and felt we were facing a choice of conscience. "In 2008, as college graduation approached, we knew we weren't ready to get married, but real life was beginning and personal decisions had to be made. The perfect moments were sprinkled with difficult ones, including a breakup that nearly broke us. We quickly learned that we didn't need to simply grow together, we had to grow up together. "Meeting at age 19 made for a sweet story, but it came with its share of challenges. I watched the talk show religiously, and while he didn't care about Regis or Kelly one tiny bit, he just cared that it mattered to me. I knew he was the guy I'd be with forever the day he skipped work to watch Regis Philbin's final episode on Live with Regis and Kelly with me. "In some ways ours was an unlikely and untimely pairing, but we were made for each other. Ours was an unlikely pairing, but we were made for each other.
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